Fathers' Day

and the Joy of Celebrating Others

This Sunday is Fathers’ Day. Perhaps you will call your father, or post a photo of him on Facebook or Instagram. Maybe you bought him a gift or will grill some meat with him in the backyard with a beer. That’s awesome. I hope you have a great relationship with your dad. I hope the day is filled with joyful memories. I hope you can celebrate such an important person in your life with simple delight. I love my dad and have no problem celebrating him on this day.

Barring a miracle, it is not a day that will celebrate me. And what I need people to understand is this:

That’s okay. It’s not a problem.

I don’t need to be included in this day. I do not need the day expanded to include me.

There are plenty of days that don’t celebrate me. Your birthday doesn’t celebrate me. Nurses Week doesn’t celebrate me. Grandparents day doesn’t celebrate me. Very few days celebrate me…or you for that matter.

It would be absurd of me to be upset that I wasn’t being celebrated during National Truck Driver Appreciation Week (second week in September), to demand that this week extend from truck drivers to all drivers.

It would silly for me to be upset that I wasn’t getting presents on your birthday.

Some days don’t celebrate us. That’s normal and fine.

I understand people’s impulse to try to include me in Fathers’ Day. It comes from a place of love and care that recognizes that it can be a hard day. Yes, it’s a day that (at least some years) comes with some grief.

And I don’t speak for all people with infertility, but personally, I’m not feeling left out of Fathers’ Day. I’m happy and grateful to be the one celebrating others rather than the one being celebrated.

I’m glad to call my dad, hear about how the fish are biting or not, hear how the crops look because of the rain or lack thereof, and hear about my nieces and nephews. That’s how I’m going to celebrate Fathers’ Day.

Thanks for reading. And happy Fathers’ day a few days early.

Andy